Stewart dealing with the emotions of finale with JGR

HOMESTEAD, Fla. -- What's going through Tony Stewart's mind?

Sunday's Ford 400 represents less of an end or a beginning, and more of a career crossroads. Stewart remains an enigma, a personality who can be alternately tempestuous -- as he was during Friday afternoon's truncated question and answer session outside his hauler -- and tender, as witnessed by his public and private charity work.

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A decade of excellence at Joe Gibbs Racing. Thirty-three race wins, two of those coming in front of friends and family at his beloved Brickyard. A pair of Cup championships. And all from a guy who confessed many years ago, back when he was running USAC sprint cars and signing autographs from the back of a flatbed hauler in places like Eldora, Ohio, that he worried that he might never make it in this business.

Make it? The guy who owned Eldora Speedway as a driver now pays the mortgage. Next year, he'll own a Sprint Cup race team, and if he really wanted, Tony Stewart could probably own most of Columbus, Ind.

When you give everything to succeed, nothing remains but the emotions of the moment.

Perceived lack of self-esteem can be an incredible motivational tool, especially when you have the talent and ability of a Tony Stewart. When you think you aren't good enough, it can make you work harder, try harder and be stronger than the other guy.

It's very easy to look at one of Stewart's heroes and see similarities to this weekend. When A.J. Foyt suddenly retired on the morning of time trials -- after 35 consecutive Indianapolis 500s -- one of the toughest drivers in history had trouble holding things together that day.

For Stewart, trying to choose between races and championships is like a parent trying to decide which child they like best. Stewart loves them equally.

"It's not that there are too many to count, they're just all special," Stewart said. "Every race that you win and with every accomplishment, there's something about each one of those that's special in their own unique way."

Decals on the 20 car celebrate each win by Tony Stewart.

And when Tony got gruff and stomped back into his hauler Friday afternoon, it may say less about his impatience and ego and more about how he is dealing with the emotions of the moment. It cannot be easy for Stewart to come to grips with the idea that he is about to walk away from his association with Gibbs and crew chief Greg Zipadelli.

"This is the longest relationship I've ever had with any car owner, so that's why this situation is so different than anything else I've ever dealt with," Stewart said earlier in the week.

How Stewart deals with the pressures of running his own operation will show how much he has learned in the past decade from people he greatly respects.

"I just think learning how Joe is with people," Stewart said. "No matter what position you're in at Joe Gibbs Racing, he cares about everybody, and that shows in the turnover rate of the organization. It doesn't matter what role you're in there, the way he treats people is why he has such a successful organization, why he's been successful in the NFL, in the NHRA and NASCAR. He's good to the people that work for him."

So when Stewart climbs out of the No. 20 Toyota for the final time Sunday, the thoughts that go through his mind then will be his own. And he has more than earned the right to revel in the emotions of the moment.

If Tony Stewart would rather keep those emotions private this weekend, who are we to judge?

The opinions expressed are solely of the writer.